Boarding School Open Days: What Should Parents Look For?

3 days ago

5 min read

What to notice, what to ask and how to decide if a school feels right.

A boarding school Open Day can be exciting, but it can also be rather overwhelming. There is a lot to take in: impressive facilities, presentations from the Head, enthusiastic pupils, tours of the school and plenty of information.

Most parents will already have spent considerable time looking at school websites, and perhaps reading a prospectus, before they visit. An Open Day is your opportunity to find out what neither can really tell you.

As education consultants, Claire and I (Linda) visit boarding schools regularly, which gives us the chance to see beyond the website and understand what individual schools are really like. We look at the pupils. Do they seem relaxed and happy? How do they interact with staff? What does the boarding house actually feel like? And, perhaps most importantly, can we imagine a particular child being happy there?

An Open Day isn't really about deciding whether a school is a good school. It is about deciding whether it could be the right school for your child.

Listen to what the Head says too. Not simply the achievements they highlight, but how they talk about the pupils and what matters to them. It can tell you a great deal about the character of the school.

Think about your child before you arrive

Before drawing up a long list of questions, think about the person who will actually be going to the school.

What really matters to your child?

They may be very academic, passionate about sport or music, need additional learning support, or simply be happiest somewhere smaller and more nurturing. One child may love the idea of a large, lively boarding house while another could find it completely overwhelming.

Choose three or four things that genuinely matter to your child and your family and keep those in mind throughout the visit.

It is surprisingly easy to be impressed by something a school does brilliantly and forget to ask whether it is actually important to your child.

Notice the pupils

Of course, look at the classrooms, sports facilities and theatre, but spend just as much time looking at the children.

Do they seem comfortable? Are pupils chatting naturally with staff? If a pupil is showing you around, talk to them. They can often tell you far more about everyday school life than any presentation.

Ask what they enjoy. What are weekends really like? What is the food like? What happens if somebody is homesick? What would they change about the school?

Ask yourself one simple question: Can you imagine your child amongst these children?

Spend proper time in the boarding house

If you are considering boarding, don't let the boarding house become a quick stop towards the end of the tour.

Find out what happens once lessons finish. Where do pupils spend their evenings? Who is around if somebody is worried? What happens at weekends?

For families looking for full boarding, ask how many pupils actually remain at school over the weekend. This is something Claire and I always want to understand when we visit a school. Boarding cultures vary enormously, and you need to understand what the school really feels like from Friday evening through to Sunday.

Look at the relationship between pupils and house staff too. Every school will tell you that pastoral care matters; what you really want to understand is how that care works in everyday life.

Ask the questions that matter to your family

You don't need to arrive armed with 30 questions. Ask the ones that genuinely matter to your family.

Encourage your child to ask questions too, if they feel comfortable doing so. They will often notice and want to know about quite different things from you.

If your child has dyslexia, what does the support actually look like? If they are a serious swimmer, musician or athlete, how will training fit alongside school life? If they aren't particularly sporty, what might Saturday afternoon look like for them?

For families living overseas or serving in HM Forces, weekends, exeats, transport, guardianship and communication with parents may be particularly important.

Sometimes it is worth going back

When I was looking at schools for one of my daughters, I went to an Open Day at a school we were particularly interested in and came away feeling rather disappointed.

There was simply so much going on that I couldn't get a proper feel for the school.

However, as it had been high on our list, we decided to go back for a private visit.

The experience couldn't have been more different. We had time to look around properly, ask questions and meet the Head, and I came away with a completely different impression.

I'm very glad we went back. My daughter went on to spend five very happy years at that school.

It is something Claire and I often think about when advising families. If a school seems right for your child but the Open Day doesn't quite convince you, don't necessarily cross it off the list. A quieter individual visit can give you a very different perspective.

Listen to your child but trust your instinct too

Parents and children don't always leave an Open Day with the same impression.

You may have loved the Head's presentation, the facilities and the academic results. Your child may simply say, “I don't think I'd be happy there.”

Listen to them.

Equally, they may unexpectedly love a school that wasn't originally at the top of your list.

Rather than immediately telling them what you thought, try asking:

“How did it feel to you?”

Atmosphere is difficult to capture on a website. Sometimes everything looks right on paper, but something doesn't quite click. At another school, you may feel comfortable almost immediately.

That doesn't make one school better than another. It simply means they may suit different children.

Look beyond the Open Day

An Open Day should be part of your school research, not necessarily the end of it.

If a school remains on your shortlist, consider returning for an individual visit. Read its latest inspection report and ask the questions you forgot on the day.

If possible, visit more than one school. We will often suggest that families visit a shortlist of around three or four schools. If you can, try to visit them reasonably close together. It is surprising how much easier it becomes to see the differences between schools and work out what really matters to you and your child.

In the end, you are not simply looking for an impressive school. You are looking for the school that feels right for your child, where they can be happy, supported and able to thrive.

At Claire Calder Consultancy, we visit boarding schools across the UK throughout the year. We talk to staff, see the boarding houses and get to know the different character of each school. That first-hand knowledge is enormously helpful when we are sitting down with a family and thinking about where their child might genuinely be happy.